Lindsay Nicole's Journal

3:03pm: So out here in the middle of no where we are the only house on our street and there are three vacant properties surrounding us. They all have owners but since the economie has gone south no one can afford to build anything yet. The people who own the lot in front of ours are trying to do a lot of the land clearing themselves to get a start on their house for when they can find a bank that can afford to loan them the money they need to build the house they want. In any case the guy (Steve) doesnt know how to run the equipment and my husband naturally wanders over there to help him out and shows him how to do it. After a few weekends of Shawns help Steve decideds to pay him to do it so he doesn't have to bother with it any more, and thats what Shawns been doing the last few weekends. It's nice to have the extra money, especially since Caterpillar screwed up Shawns check this week and he only got paid 39 bucks after taxes and insurance was taken out(not the first time this has happend). Im pissed about that to, but thats not the point. Steve turns out to own a land scaping business and does a lot of work for the county. His business is expanding majorly with in the next year and hes offered Shawn a job working with him. He likes Shawn I guess and wants him to be a general manager. When Shawn had decided to go work for CAT after getting out of the MC I had a bad feeling about the job. I just knew it wasn't going to be what he expected and he would hate it and I was right about that. I don't get a bad feeling about this move. I'm nervous because something bad can always be unforseen, but I don't get that knot in stomach feeling about it like I did with Cat. Do you think that means its going to work out? That this is a good move career wise for Shawn? My thoughts are jumbled right now so there are many other reasons that this job could end up being better then the one he has now.

Anyways Addie is being extra fussy today and I couldn't take it anymore and layed her back down for another nap, I take the easy way out alot with her...lol...makes me feel guilty sometimes. AND I just finished taking an online math class this week, I got an A! Holy crap the highest grade I got all through highschool in math was a C. YAY. But thats it.

1:26am: Why is it when you give them an inch they take a fucking mile? Tonight Shawn and I went to dinner with some neighbors and their friends that were in town from the UK. Okay that was fun but then everyone wanted to go out to this bar in downtown bradenton called the lost kangaroo. Well that poses a problem when you have a 13 month old. So Shawn talked me into letting our neighbors kids watch her so we could go. I finally gave in thinking well ones 14 and the other is 15 so between them that makes them older then me and their both really good kids AND not to mention Addie would be asleep the whole time and their only problem really would be entertaining themselves at someone elses house. So we went we had fun, I got a little drunk which hasnt happend since I cant even really remember. I would probably have to think back to the days of THE APPT. But we got home early about 11ish. Shawn wanted to go back over to our neighbors house cuz they planned on riding the ATVs through some mud holes (life in the country). I guess its funner to do when your drunk and its almost midnight. I told him I felt bad making the boys stay longer then they had to but he could go ride for an hour or so if he wanted to, I told him to take his phone and be back in an hour he said he would. Its been almost three and hes not answering his damn phone...I swear if I have to go get dressed and get the baby up and go find his ass, he wont hear the end of it...ASSHOLE...I mean come on think you fucking idiot! Gee its almost 2 in the morning maybe I should get home or at least call my wife...No that would be logical thinking...GOD IM PISSED!

10:58am: These afternoons seem to get longer and longer. Im so bored during the day half the time! I would get out and do something but everything is so far away that it ends up being a waste of gas, and at these prices I ain't wasting shit. I could do some homework for my new class that started yesterday but I haven't gotten my book yet, hopefully it comes tomorrow it's a math class and lord knows I can't get behind in that. It's going to be a long month with this damn class.

The baby is sleeping, I think shes going through a growth spurt or something cuz she went to bed lastnight at 8:30 woke up at about 9 this morning and by 10:30 was cranky and whiny and went right back down for a nap. She has gotten so tall these last few weeks, it's crazy.

We had another nice weekend. Saturday we all slept in until about 10 and then after feeding the baby and getting ready we went to olive garden for all you can eat soup salad and bread sticks...YUM! Then headed over to the outlet mall so I could return something but it was so crazy busy there, there was no parking whatsoever, so I just said forget it and we ended up walking around wal mart for a bit so Shawn could looking at some fishing stuff. Wal-mart has this new line of furniture called canopy and it is all really pretty and I really love the stuff. I showed Shawn while we were there and he liked it to, so once we get that extra tax return from the government this month we are getting a new computer desk, entertainment center and book cases. When we actually get our own house we are going to be getting new couches and stuff like that, which I cant wait for. On our way home for that we stopped and rented movies to watch that night. Then sunday we did a bunch of nothing. I cleaned Shawn fished then we grilled some steaks for diner and watched the rest of our movies after Addie went to bed. It was a nice weekend. This weekend I know were suppose to be having a cook out with some of the people down the street from us. I dont know them real well but Shawn goes fishing with the husband a lot and I know they have two boys I think, maybe three. Im hoping I can convice Shawn to take us to grindel circle one day this weekend (which ever day we arent having the cook out) to walk around. Its kind of like the down town of sarasota with high end little shops and resturants and its on the beach to so Im hoping we can walk around there for a while and then take the baby down onto the beach to get some pics of her playing in the sand.

9:42pm: My weekend was okay. I had the flu Wednesday and Thrusday but by Friday I didn't feel like dying anymore so that was nice. However, food...Still not a good thing. Shawn had to work Friday night but got home at a decent hour. Saturday I pretty much did homework all day cuz Im a slacker and procrastinator and didnt do any during the week and everything was do by midnight (eh I think I do my best work when Im on a dead line:-)). But Shawn ran up to Chilis and got us dinner to go since that is the only thing that appealed to me and after three days of toast and crackers I was ready to try real food. Sunday we spent the morning playing with the baby and trying to teach her new "tricks". It's pretty cool when they start trying to immitate you. I dont where she got it but she through her first real tantrum also. She wanted a cookie and it was naptime so she proceeded to through herself on the floor and cry. I couldnt help but laugh at her, must be a move that all kids are born with. While she was napping though Shawn and I sat around watching sex and the city dvds that I found and made margahritas (mmmmmm). For dinner we went over to Shawns Dads house where Shawns grandparents, Aunt and uncle, cousin and her little baby where in from Michigan. They had made crab legs. Now I havent had crab in YEARS, since I was a little kid and I remembered I liked it then. But seafood is not the right kind of food to eat when your stomach is still kinda weak from the flu. Needless to say that night was not good. Then today Debbie pulls more shit. I dont know what I have to do to get her to stop throwing her own tantrums, but I have to think of something and fast cuz its getting old.

1:24am: Its officially March 15th now and that means my baby is a year old today. Hard to believe. Right now shes in her crib crying, and Im trying to let her cry it out or "self sooth" (for some reason I don't like that phrase) instead of running in there and giving her a bottle so this should help drown out the sound of her crying for a bit. Shes so cute though, shes recently learned how to high-five and gets really excited about it. You can say "high-five Addie" anywhere in the house and no matter where shes at or what shes doing she will come running over to you with her hand up, ready to give five:-). I almost want another baby like soon...HA!...It seems that I have forgotten how uncomfortable I was when I was pregnant, or how horrible labor and delivary where, not to mention what real sleep depervation is with a new born. All I can really remember is that we survived it. But the smart thing to do is wait, financially at least we JUST switched Addie from formula to whole milk so thats 50 bucks a week we can save.

My mother in law still is driving me insane, she called me the other day to say that she's been trying to call for over a week now and wants to know why we aren't taking her calls. Naturally its on a day that I have the flu and Shawn is at work so I'm trying to take care of Addie the best I can, I had JUST layed her down for a nap and was trying to take one myself since I had been up since 5am puking, and even after I tell her this does she care? No. She wanted to know why. But you know what?! We weren't trying to avoid her calls (though we should have been), she only called once a few days before, that I knew of and I missed the call cuz I was outside with Addie taking a walk and when I saw she called I called her back and she didnt answer, I said that and then said that I really had to go so all she said was bye. Freak. I'm not looking forward to going to Orlando much anymore easter weekend cuz Shawn talked to her today and she asked if we would come by that Saturday with the baby. God I do NOT want to see that women. I don't know why she gets under my skin so much cuz now I'm in a bad mood again thinking about it.

The baby is quite now:-)

11:43pm: Life back in FL
I guess I thought it would be different to be back in Fl no matter where we were. I dont know, I just dont like it out here in the middle of no where. Im not cut out for country life. Its too isolating. Its not all bad though I suppose, I started school again and hopefully by the end of 2009 I can get out into the working force. On one hand I love staying home and being with Addie all day and not worrying about having to be somewhere I really dont feel like going, but on the other I just need to get out of the damn house!

Shawn works crazy hours, some nights mostly days and the pay is okay and after taxes are taken out, 5% going into retirement and then paying for insurance were making about the same as when we were in the MC. Having real insurance sucks and I really miss tricare. Shawn randomly talks about going back in the marine corps and a greater part of me selfishly hopes to god that he does.

Addies going to be a year old in less then three weeks. Its crazy, I still feel like I have a little tiny baby and not practically a toddler. Makes me want another one. Were suppose to be going to Orlando to have a little party for her, but as usual my mother in law has to make everything a huge pain the ass if she doesnt get her way so I dont even think I want to do anything at all. I cant stand that women. If I could have my way I would cut all ties from that side of his family and never see any of them again. I have a feeling that will happen eventually, Its just going to have to be by Shawns word and not mine cuz Im not going to look like the evil bitch thats keeping her son from his family.

Basically Im about three days from my period and I feel like screaming, I feel like crying and I feel like cussing my mother in law out for being a horrible selfish person and stressing me out non stop since we decided to move down to sarasota, FL instead of closer to her. I hate being a girl!

10:27am: Im putting off cleaning
My house is a mess, its driving me crazy and it needs to be cleaned. I just dont want to be the one to do it. Thats all I ever do. I want a paying job and I cant wait until I can get one!

Shawn sold his car thank god. The lady that bought it was a bitch and wouldnt go any higher then 5700$. Shawn took it cuz at the time he wasnt getting any better offers. But no sooner then the next day he got an offer for 6800$ from the guy who lived above us. I was more then willing to say screw that other bitch and take that but Shawn wouldnt. He says its bad Karma. :::Rollseye::: I was thinking about it the other day and we or at least I was idiot. I got rid of my 1993 car for 150$ Only to turn around and spend 4800$ on a 1992 Piece of shit that we still had to put 5 grand in to get it running decent. But Im done talking about it Im getting angry again and that will only come out on Shawn when he gets home.

My little Addie is sooooo big. We got her ears pierced last week and she just looks SO cute!!! Shes really starting to get around now. I will lay her on a blanket with toys all around for her to play with and then 10 mins later shes practically rolled over to the other side of the room:-)

That is all I suppose...

9:48am: I didnt think it had been so long since I last wrote but its been about three weeks now. Time really is going by fast. I cant wait until we are out of here. I really really hate it hear, more now then I did before. I realized Im just not happy sitting at home all the time. I need interaction with people that have the skills to talk back. It was fine for a while when I had the truck and could leave the appt during the day and go see Alicia and we would walk around the mall or go get lunch but now Shawn has to take the truck to work cuz the window in his mustange that he JUST HAD TO HAVE, the mustange that we HAD to spend about 4 grand on fixing it up not including the 4800$ we paid for it, shaddered when he shut the door cuz its still a piece of shit. But were not going to talk about that cuz Im still really really bitter about it. Then Alicia sold her car cuz her husband is getting out of the MC next month and they are moving back to Cali so we are now both stranded in our respective places. Just 10 more days and I get a vacation! And dont think that just cuz Im a housewife that everyday is a vacation (which is the common misconception)...Thats a load of crap...Work at home never ends, its 24/7 holidays and weekends. And I need a break. My MIL is coming up the first of july to come and babysit Addie and Duke.

Im still trying to talk Shawn into reenlisting. I learned you get a major bonus for doing so only if you are combat deployable. I want out of this town though. California I think would be a nice place to be for a while. Hawaii sounds intersting but I think after being on an island for a while I would start feeling stranded. I mean theres only so many places you could go. I just dont think Im ready to give up the life that the military has created for us. Even though were broke all the time certain things are good like health insurance.

8:25am: The kids asleep...YESSSSSSSSS!!!
Shawns FINALLY back at work. Its the first time hes been to work since before Adelaide was born. How he managed to get about three months off is beyond me. Im kinda glad hes gone back. Its nice to have the place to myself for a few hours with the baby. Thank god shes sleeping now though. I also like the time just to myself:-). The wise thing to do now would be to get some more cleaning done, but once again I procrastinate like a champ.

Adelaide is getting so big. Shes already starting to sit up by herself, only for a few seconds before she falls flat on her face. And shes always trying to pull herself up. AND shes cutting teeth already! Normally they dont do that until about 4 months but shes got a tooth poking through on the top.

We had gone home for about the whole month of May. We left the first and have been home for about a week now. It was nice being home, and being around fimiliar things and people but I missed our appt after a few weeks and was happy to be home.

Saturday we went to the beach with Bobby and Alicia thier little girl Cadence and some of their nieghbors. It was fun. I forgot how much I liked the beach and even after a while said screw what everyone thinks and took off my shirt and just walked around in my bathing suit. Alicia and I got some cute pics of the girls first trip to the beach and then we critzied any girl with a great body for not having a kid cuz we both still have about half our pregnancy weight to lose. I have been thinking about doing the weight watchers on line. Our neighbors Sandra and Liz are both doing it so it would make it easier for me since they are my out to eat buddies. I just dont want to spend the money on it right now. Not when its so close to us moving.

Shawns decided to take that job in Sarasota at CAT. The MC is really starting to screw people over on reenlistments and only shelling out half of the bonus they said they were giving cuz they cant afford shit any more. They are even taking away the GI bill. Shawn has something like 5 years to use it before he loses it, its suppose to be good for 20 years after hes out. Its all irratating Im glad hes getting out. I cant wait to get out of this town either.

11:36am: This month has just flown by, I dont know where the time went or my sleep for that matter. I had my daughter the 15th of March at 11:38am, after being induced around 7am. Labor was intresting to say the least. It started out alright and then quickly got worse after they broke my water. I tried being brave and going without pain meds but two hours into it I couldnt take it any more and got the epidural. Bestest stuff ever! It didnt totally numb me, I could still feel the pressure of the contractions and some tightness and pain but it was bareable and I even closed my eyes and got a little rest. For about an hour cuz then I had the stragest sensation to push. In one hour I went from 5 cm dialated to 10 and after 38 mins of pushing Adelaide was here! She was 6lb 13oz, 19 3/4th in long. The Dr let Shawn do most of the work in the delivary room so he goes around saying he delivared her...lol...Its really cute. I really couldnt tell you though cuz the last thing I remember was seeing one of the nurses help Shawn get some gloves on and I thought oh he IS going to cut the umbilical cord, and that was it, all I was focused on was getting her out cuz it was really uncomfortable. Shes the mirror image of Shawn though. I figured she would have more of his traits then mine, but she does have my hair color which I thought she would deffinately be blond. She also has my lips but thats about it, shes all Shawn only prettier:-) She loves to eat. She could be crying about anything and if you give her a bottle shes happy immediately and as a result she is over 9lbs already...lol...Deffinately my child.

My Mother in law is flying in thursday evening for the weekend. And my sister in law and her husband are driving down from VA friday so we will have a house full. But it will be nice, a change of pace, with Shawn working I dont get out much cuz I havent mastered the art of going out and toting a baby around yet. Well thats it for now.

11:44am: Tomorrow I will be 35 weeks...That means one more week and I will be considered full term and she can come out with no worries!...The braxton hicks contractions are getting worse but are VERY irregular, and Im pretty sure I have dropped cuz I have to pee what seems like every 20 mins, so hopefully it will be soon. Shawn and I have a little bet going...I say she will be here by the second week of March and Shawns saying she will be either on time or later. I have another Dr. appt on wednesday and they are going to start checking to see if I have dialated at all then so we shall see then...We have just about everything. The stroller and car seat, the crib and dresser are on order and will be here sometime next week, and the girl has enough cloths for the first three months of her life...lol...She does however need summery type cloths for 6-9 months...We dont have very many of those...So we need to start stocking.

Shawns on 24 hour duty today which sucks cuz Im bored out of my freakin mind. I decided I was going to clean the apartment from top to bottom today and wash all the baby things cuz we got that baby detergent this weekend...Its not going very well...So far I have only mopped the floors. Okay Im hungry now so I will stop writing about nothing.

8:21am: 39 days!!
Im sick of being pregnant...I want her out as soon as possible. I even had a dream lastnight that I pretended to go into labor in the hopes that they would just decide to take her out as long as I was there. It didnt work even in my dreams. Good news! Only 39 days left and no sign of stretch marks on my belly! YAY!...Still planning on the tummy tuck when Im done having kids though.

Not much is going on around here, Jacksonville still sucks. But we only have until September left so Im sure we can grin and bare it until then. Shawn has a 96 this weekend cuz of presidents day but right now is at formation and then on monday he got stuck with 24 hour duty. Which sucks but what can you do.

I just cant wait until were living back in Fl again...Where things seems somewhat familiar again surrounded by familiar people...Only 7 more months!!

6:57am: 9 more weeks thats 63 days.
Well Im 31 weeks today. Im uncomfortable. I dont understand how some women actually ENJOY being pregnant. Between being unable to ware cute cloths, shave your own legs, needing a push to get out of bed, the heart burn, getting kicked in the ribs and being unable to lay on your stomach, if shes not out in 63 days exactly I will either A) Go to the hospital and DEMAND they take her out or B) Pull her out myself.

I was talking to Shawn yeasterday and he said he really wasnt fond of the name Adelaide! Well Im glad he said something now instead of when she was a year old! I think he only agreed to it when I suggested it in the beginning was because he was SO sure he was going to have a boy...lol...In any case we are probably going to be looking around for another name.

Other then that nothing is going on...lol...I guess we just dont have the money right now to have a life. I have become an xbox widow and he does that most of the time, I read or watch t.v. hmmmm....Thats all for now <3

12:47am: Thank you for calling the United States Marine Corps Hot Line. I'm sorry, but all of our units are out at the moment, or are otherwise engaged. Please leave a detailed message with your country, name of organization, the region, the specific crisis, and a number at which we can call you.

As soon as we have sorted out Centeral Asia, the Balkans, Iraq, Korea, Communist China, and compulsory "Consideration Of Others" training, we will return your call. Please speak after the tone, or if you require more options, please listen to the following numbers:

If your crisis is small, and on land, press 1 for the United States Army.

If your concern is distant, with a temperate climate and good hotels, and can be solved by one or two low risk, high altitude bombing runs, please press 2 for the United States Air Force. Please note this service is not available after 1630 hours, on weekends, or in bad weather.

Special consideration will be given to customers requiring satellite or stealth technology who can provide additional research and development funding

If your inquiry concerns a situation which can be resolved by a bit of grey funnel,bunting, flags and a really good marching band, please press 3 and speak slowly to the United States Navy. Please note that Tomahawk missile service is extremely limited and will be provided on a first-come, first served basis.

If your inquiry is not urgent, please press 4 for the Rapid Deployment Force and wait 2 weeks for delivery.

If you are in real hot trouble, please press 5, and your call will be routed to the United State Special Operations Command for an additional fee of $10. Please note that a compulsory credit check will be required to ensure you can afford the inherent TDY costs. Also be aware that USASOC may bill your account at any time and is not required to tell you why, as it will be classified.

If you are interested in joining the marine corps and wish to be shouted at, paid little, have premature arthrtis, put your wife and family in a condemned hut miles from civiliazation, are prepared to work your butt off daily, risking your life, in all weather and terrain, both day and night, and while watching Congress erode your original benefits package, then please stay on the line, Your call will shortly be connected to a bitter passed-over Marine Recruiter in an old strip mall down by the Post Office.

Have a pleasant day, and thank you again for trying to contact the United States marine corps.

10:54pm: # 12 makes me laugh cuz its very much me!

You know your other half is deployed when...


1. You wear old sweatpants and sweatshirts to bed.

2. You can watch whatever you want on TV without arguing with him first.

3. You get up in the middle of the night to check your e-mail.

4. You sleep with your cell phone in case he calls in the middle of the night.

5. You love watching cute love movies because it reminds you of all the cute things he does when he's home.

6. You haven't shaved your legs in weeks.

7. The mailman knows you because you are always out waiting for him to come.

8. You start paying close attention in class when the words "military" or "iraq" are mentioned.

9. You suddenly have an obsession with anything military related.

10. You see someone wearing an army, navy, or usmc shirt and you get this overwhelming urge to talk to them.

11. You make friends with strangers online just because they are in the same situation as you and are the only ones that can truely understand what you are going through.

12. You can't decide what to wear when you meet him at the airport because his flight comes in at a ridiculous hour in the morning and you want to look cute, but not too cute, because your cutest outfit you want to save for your first full day together.

13. Your first Christmas together is.... apart.

14. You find yourself checking your e-mail every fifteen minutes. (Who am I kidding...every 5 minutes!)

15. You know all the time differences between where you are and Iraq, Ireland, Kuwait, Italy, Germany, Korea, and every state in the U.S.

16. The highlight of your day is getting a letter that was mailed a month ago.

17. And if you don't get a letter, the highlight of your day is writing him a letter that you know he will be able to read in a month.

18. You realize that HOMECOMING is so much more than a football game.

19. You want to hit any happy couple you see together.

20. You get excited about "unknown" phone numbers calling you.

21. You've exhausted every idea a brain could have of what to put in a box

22. You see a "support our troops" sticker on a car when you are stuck in traffic and you find yourself guessing about who they know that is deployed and thinking about their entire life story.

23. When the clock says 11:11, you find yourself wishing for the same thing everytime: a call from your soldier.

24. You get excited when its only 9 months until you see your soldier instead of 12!

25. You can't stand girls that talk about missing their boyfriends who live a few hours away. You just want to yell "drive and go see them them" because if you had the chance, you would jump on the first plane to go see your soldier no matter how far it is.

26. You don't know what teams are on top for football, basketball, etc.

27. You wouldn't dream of walking out of the house without the cell phone and every number you have is forwarded to that cell.

28. You find yourself randomly crying from just looking at a picture of the two of you together.

29. You find yourself randomly crying and you sometimes have no idea why.

30. You stay on the internet for hours searching for anything and everything about the military.

31. You talk to your friends about him so much that they know his full name, birthday and even his favorite color.

32. You are reading this and smiling and nodding because you know it's so true! (yep

1:47pm: Okay okay okay...
Today is Shawns 22nd Birthday. He called this morning at like 3 am to tell me this...lol...Of course I was half asleep and wasnt real enthusiasic when I told him "happy birthday". So he said he would call back this afternoon when I got off of work and before he left for his next mission tomorrow. God I miss him and just want to hear his voice right now!

So not much has been going on. I went up to Va for a ski trip with my friends Dana, Robin, Nicolle, Aimee, and Danas b/f Jason. It was fun and a great experience. I learned that I am more graceful with both feet planted firmly on the ground and suck at skiing, but am freakishly good at ice skating and apperently good at tubbing since I never fell out of the tube (which I didnt know you could do to begin with). I also realized snow sucks, I hate being cold. I rather sweat my ass off in the summer then freeze it off in the winter. I will never move out of Fl. Im too thin blooded its rediculus. Also shit happend on the last day and now Aimee isnt talking to any of us (except Nicolle) cuz shes acting 5 instead of the 21 year old that she is. And Nicolle is talking to us but carefully cuz she probably doesnt want to piss Aimee off. Oh well SHES staying home next year thats for damn sure!

Last night was Jasons birthday so Robin, Dana, David, Terry, Robin W, Jason and I went to Kobes japanese steakhouse for dinner. Its one of those places that cooks the food in front of you. It was really good! I want to go back but not at 30 bucks a plate...lol

Other then that nothing much is going on. Shawns new return home date is April 12th. It changed three times with in a week so we shall see of that stays the same. Okay now that Im done updating I want my phone call!!!

12:28am: THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY :

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

####################################################

Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

********************************************************************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.

=====================================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.

11:04am: Ummm....
Gloria where are you? We are worried:-(

12:11am: You will soon see a lot of people wearing Red on Fridays. Here's why..... The Americans, who support our troops, are the silent majority. We are not "organized" to reflect who we are, or to reflect what our opinions are. Many Americans, like yourself, and all their friends, simply want to recognize that Americans support our troops.

Our idea of showing our solidarity and support for our troops is starting Friday and continuing on each and every Friday, until this is over, that every red -blooded American who supports our young men and women, WEAR SOMETHING RED. Word of mouth, press, TV -- let's see if we can make the United States, on any given Friday, a sea of red much like
a home football game at a University. If every one of our memberships
share this with other acquaintances, fellow workers, friends, and neighbors, I guarantee! that it will not be long before the USA will be covered in RED - and make our troops know there are many people thinking of their well-being. You will feel better all day Friday when you wear Red! So let's get the word out and lead by example; wear RED on Fridays. I sent this out to everyone on my email list; hopefully,
you will too. Please forward this to everyone you know!! Wear Red on Fridays .

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS! WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE. FOR US, THEIR BLOOD RUNS RED!! GOD BLESS AMERICA.

1:03am: here we go
Well its valentines day. For being so far away Shawn still managed to sweep me off my feet. I got more roses...lol...and a v-day card in the mail today, an e-mail, and the promise of a phone call when he got off tonight (Im still waiting). I love the little dip shit

So its been awhile since I have posted here and my last post was...er...well I dont remember posting it. That Deisel 153 proof is some STRONG stuff! Haha...But seriously I live for my weekends at the appt. Its always a good time there with good people! Last friday I hadnt really planned on drinking but Marcos talked me into it (well he handed me an open Smirnoff and I didnt object) So I ended up staying the night. I didnt really get drunk just buzzed pretty good...lol...Poor Crutch though...lol...you need to learn to hold your alcohol there girly! Then on Saturday night me and Crutch saw Hide and Seek. A good movie keeps you on the edge of your freakin seat and has an ending I never expected! Then as always after the movie we went to the appt!...lol Around midnight Manuela wanted Taco Bell after a few of the boyz had just gotten back from there, so the girls decided to go ourselves and get her some food. Marcos wanted some but Manuela was mad at him so we said we werent going to pick him up anything and as always we girls stuck together! haha...half way there a black truck cuts me off and Manuela screams "those assholes its Marcos and Julz quick cut them off"...lol...So in the end the GIRLS WON!!!!...lol...We got to taco bell before they did and beat them at there own fucking game! I was impressed with my driving skills. After that it was that the usual night of T.V. calling Gloria in N.C. telling her we wish she was here, Drinking (except for me cuz of work the next morning)and Manuela, Amerigo and the other boyz tryin to get me to get high with them...Not my thing though never has been and wont ever be...lol...You would think they would learn that after 3 years!

In other news MANUELA IS IN LOVE! Well she is infactuated, but she had gone out with him 3 or 4 times and hasnt found anything wrong with him yet so that in its self is a HUGE step for her. I keep telling her she needs to bring him by the appt. so the boys can scare him off, and if they dont then we know that hes a keeper! Didnt mean to make this so long and just ramble on like that...SUCH A GOOD WEEKEND THOUGH!

10:29pm: wasttexd
Im going to follow Crutches lead and type a post to say that Im so fucking wasted!!!!!!!!!!!!...lol...Oh man...haha...I hope I remember this in the morninging!!!!....Only 5 more weeks until Shawn gets home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7:12pm: The Military!
You know you are a Military Girlfriend/ Fiancee/Wife when....
..you dont mind a phone call waking you up at 0400.
... you tell people that ask that he's "only" been gone a month.
...the smallest contact (short email) from your man makes your entire week!
....You cry over and email that says nothing more than hi and I miss you
..you email everyone in your address book when you recieve a one liner from your military man.
...those recruitment commercials on TV make you cry because you are so proud!
...your sentences start containing more acronyms and numbers then actual words
..you sleep in Pt attire, cuddles up to a poncho liner, because it's the closest you can come to being with yout military man
..You're sitting at home and you realize that you havent talked to him in over a month.
..You get super excited just knowing that your boyfriend tried to call but wasnt able to get through
..you decided to combine your patriotism and stay sane while he's deployed... I'm in the middle of redecorating my bathroom..Red & white stripes with blue stars
...the first ball you go to as a girlfriend you name tag says "Mrs" is that a self fulfilling prophecy or what?!?..
...your favorite 'man' to see everyday is the MAILMAN(what a love/ hate relationship that is)
..you refer to everyone not in the military or dating someone in the military as a Civilian, you can rattle off the time in perfect military time without having to think and finally you get excited when you can name the assult rifle correctly.
... you stop shaving above the knees (EWW NO)
... A 30 sec phone call after no calls from him for 3.5 months leaves you full of joy and happiness, and "no news is good news" becomes your motto
...you could wait forever for your loved one to return home into your arms
..you fell yourself growing more and more in love with your man even while he is so far away
..planning letters/care packages and putting them in the mail is more exciting then going out for a night on the town with the girls
...you dont mind tripping over combat boots left int he middle of the bedroom floor
.. whlie enjoying an evening alone together, your man shows you all the different ways he knows to kill or incapacitate a man, and then you casually continue to cook as though its perfectly normal, and you find yourself learning phrases in foreign languages from letters and arent surprised when you realize you know how to say"throw down your weapons and lay down on the ground!" in Arabic
...you hold off certain movies so you can see them with your MM when he comes home
.. you want to roll your eyes when you hear someone say "I havent heard from my boyfriend in a week" you can go from happy, to sad, to lonely, to angry, to proud, and back to happy in a matter of less than an hour, and you sleep with the phone right next to you , just in case
...if he's deployed you dont care how your hair looks nor care about wearing make-up and the people at your work ask about your boyfriend everyday to see if you've heard from him
..you can give the rates for all the long distance calling cards on the market without hesitation...
...the sight of any other man in uniform makes you miss your man MORE than it makes you drool,
....An you try to explain to civilians what you man does for a living they give you a blank stare because they dont under stand a third of what you just said...

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Top ten ways to Identify a USMC Girlfriend-

1. we own at least 1 article of clothing that says USMC/Marines/PMG and wear it at least once a week
2. (for confidentiality reasons we are leaving out # 2 sorry!)
3. we know what the terms head, rack, field day, and PT mean and have no trouble using them on a daily bases
4. we know the difference between a poolee/ recruit/ Marine and know the rank structure like the back of our hand
5. we feel every note of the songs by 3 doors down"when I am gone" "here without you" as well as by lonestar"I'm already there" also,"proud to be an American" and the National Anthem
6. We watch the news and cry hysterically for Fallen Marines and no one seems to understan why
7. we just cry and cry and cry for no reason at all and we are fine with that (its normal isnt it?)
8. we have at least 1 (but probaly more family members of friends that dont approve or understand our long distance relationship
9. bewteen the ages of 17-23 we have no problem saying yes to a marriage proposal and dont understand why the rest of the world thinks that we are "too young" to get married
10. We belong to some Girlfriend/ Fiancee/ Wives support group online and consider the girls in the group some of your best friends and would rather spend a friday or saturday night at home tlaking to them then out with people who dont understand your realtionship and try to hook you up with other guys.. After all.... They are the only girls that understand....

11:15pm: Its been a little while...
So it's been a while since I have last posted on here. Hmmm but life has just been keeping be busy, sometimes I just wish it would leave me alone so I could sleep for a few more hours. Classes started on the 10th and then on the 11th I was dropped from all of my classes cuz I didnt sign up for a class I didn't even know I had to take. So the last few day I have been trying to throw together a new schedule and I have only ended up with two classes this semester. Nothing seems to come easy anymore, not even signing up for classes. I wish I was 10 again so I didnt have to worry about my cell phone bill, car insurance, or worrying about are they going to drop me from my classes?

Gloria also left on the 10th to go back to N.C. Manuela, Crutch, Julz, Kyle and I all drove her to the air port. I think I was the only one not to get teary eyed when saying goodbye. Over the last year I have gotten really good at goodbye's, though they are still really hard. It didn't feel the same after she left it was alot quiter without her, then she got our hopes up by calling us and telling us that she missed her flight! So we drove back to help her get it all starighten out we only got about 15 more min with her. We were hoping for a few more days. We are now on to go on with the rest of our year. For the most part in our own directions in life! Its almost exciting to think about...

12:55pm: Before work...
Last night I went to the movies with my mom to see the Phantom of the Opera. It was REALLY good. And beautiful to. I wouldnt mind seeing it again. Or better yet going to NYC and seeing it on broadway. I have always wanted to see something on broadway. If I had my choice I would see either that or CATS.

While we were in the thearter we somehow managed to sit next to some asshole who was probably only there to please his g/f and was bored out of his mind and there for was annoying as hell. First he was chopping away on his pop corn like he was related to a cow, and then he started cracking his fingers. It wasnt until he started popping his neck I couldnt take it anymore and said something. He eventually stopped.

Later I met up with Gloria and Manuela at Manuela's to eat some pasta (go figure). Food was good except for the little pieces of hamburger meet that was in it. I dont like hamburgers, why I dont know its just gross. When we were eating Shawn called in the middle of the meal, so I got up and went into Manuela's room to talk to him. I always feel a bit guilty when I have to leave something/someone else to talk to him. Like Im being rude or something. But its not like I can call him back, I have to adjust to his schedule. We talked for a while almost 45 min I would say. Its just always good to talk to him, I miss him, I wish he would come home.

I wonder why sometimes he actually left for the Marine core. Will at work always indicates that I had something to do with it and the reason why he isnt here is my fault, that if he really loved me like he loves Allison he wouldnt have left. I know that is a bunch of crap, it always pisses me off when he says something of that nature, I think mainly its because that if it weren't for men and women like Shawn then his ass would be drafted. And its not showing any respect to them for the sacrifices they make and that their families make. I wish I had the neve to say something to him, but I would probably end up crying as I was saying that. I hate crying in front of people.

Gotta go to work now...

1:13pm: 2005 is here
Well here it is the first day of 2005, and Im starting off the new year with literally the worst hang over I have had in a loooooooong time...lol...but last night was worth it. Unfortately for me and someothers we had to wait to start all the festivities until everyone ogt out of work, but luckily for Gloria that meant that I hadnt had a drink yet and could pick her and Crutch up to drop them off at a party that was like 2 min away from me. So because I love the girl I went and got her cuz I didnt want her to be bored at the start of the new year. By the time I got back Everyone was off of work and the drinks were being poured!! I didnt drink a lot in the beginning cuz I knew that my mother was going to be calling me but after that phone call came the rest of the night is almost a blurr. I remember laughing so hard that I though I was going to stop breathing and then the thought of not being able to breath made me laugh harder. around 12:30 I had pretty much stopped drinking and we were out doing firer works. Robin was shooting them off and I dont really remember actually seeing any go off but I remember yelling at Robin to let Tyler to it cuz he hadnt been drinking...see Im a resonsible drunk!

about an hour later I felt myself sobering up and grabbed another drink, that much I know for sure. We started playing some bored game and I sort of remember Gloria calling and saying I LOVE YOU...but I was being quite...why I dont know...I think I talked to Manuela? I realized this new years Im not really the light weight I thought I was. I drank a 6 pack some Strawberry thing that was just basically rum, 2 cranberry lemonade things, some champagne at midnight, but it wasnt until I took a shot that I got sick...lol...Only once though and then I feel asleep. I think Nicolle said that was about 4 so yeah Im not feeling the best today...Oh well...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!